Zombie Memeboy, Late As Usual

Posted on by James Cape

So I figured I’d try out the new meme. Go get a list of the top 100 songs from your High School graduation year, and strike through the ones you wish had never been written. If you don’t know, or don’t care about a song, leave it as-is. Note the good ones (done here via italics, ooh).

  1. Too Close, Next
  2. The Boy Is Mine, Brandy and Monica
  3. You’re Still The One, Shania Twain
  4. Truly Madly Deeply, Savage Garden
  5. How Do I Live, LeAnn Rimes
  6. Together Again, Janet
  7. All My Life, K-Ci and JoJo
  8. Candle In The Wind 1997, Elton John — fuck the royals.
  9. Nice and Slow, Usher
  10. I Don’t Want To Wait, Paula Cole — don’t remember it
  11. How’s It Going To Be, Third Eye Blind — would that I could strike this twice.
  12. No, No, No, Destiny’s Child
  13. My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion
  14. Gettin’ Jiggy Wit, Will Smith
  15. You Make Me Wanna…, Usher
  16. My Way, Usher
  17. My All, Mariah Carey
  18. The First Night, Monica
  19. Been Around The World, Puff Daddy and The Family
  20. Adia, Sarah McLachlan
  21. Crush, Jennifer Paige — don’t remember it
  22. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back), Backstreet Boys
  23. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing, Aerosmith — I remember wondering how they were not dead yet.
  24. Body Bumpin Yippie-Yi-Yo, Public Announcement
  25. This Kiss, Faith Hill
  26. I Don’t Ever Want To See You Again, Uncle Sam — don’t remember it
  27. Let’s Ride, Montell Jordan
  28. Sex And Candy, Marcy Playground
  29. Show Me Love, Robyn — don’t remember it
  30. A Song For Mama, Boyz II Men
  31. What You Want, Mase
  32. Frozen, Madonna — only for the video, like every other Madonna song, ever 😉
  33. Gone Till November, Wyclef Jean
  34. My Body, Lsg — don’t remember it
  35. Tubthumping, Chumbawamba — this one is a tough call, as it’s rancorous vapidity turned me off of the otherwise great band for three years.
  36. Deja Vu (Uptown Baby), Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz — don’t remember it
  37. I Want You Back, ‘N Sync
  38. When The Lights Go Out, Five — don’t remember it
  39. They Don’t Know, Jon B. — don’t remember it
  40. Make Em’ Say Uhh!, Master P — doing his best to make sure you never listen to Hip-Hop.
  41. Make It Hot, Nicole Featuring Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott and Mocha — ditto
  42. Never Eve, All Saints — don’t remember it
  43. I Get Lonely, Janet
  44. Feel So Good, Mase
  45. Say It, Voices Of Theory — don’t remember it
  46. Kiss The Rain, Billie Myers — same
  47. Come With Me, Puff Daddy — naw, I’m good
  48. Romeo And Juliet, Sylk-E Fyne — took me a while to remember how much I hated this one.
  49. It’s All About Me, Mya and Sisqo
  50. I Will Come To You, Hanson — Wait, you mean Taylor Hanson is a guy!? (watch Family Guy if you don’t get it)
  51. One Week, Barenaked Ladies
  52. Swing My Way, K.P. and Envyi — don’t remember it
  53. The Arms Of The One Who Loves You, Xscape — don’t remember it
  54. My Love Is The Shhh!, Somethin’ For The People — don’t remember it
  55. Daydreamin’, Tatyana Ali — don’t remember it
  56. We’re Not Making Love No More, Dru Hill — don’t remember it
  57. Semi-Charmed Life, Third Eye Blind — I learned the term “heavy rotation” because of this one
  58. I Do, Lisa Loeb
  59. Lookin’ At Me, Mase — don’t remember it
  60. Looking Through Your Eyes, LeAnn Rimes
  61. Lately, Divine
  62. Quit Playing Games (With My Heart), Backstreet Boys
  63. I Still Love You, Next — don’t remember it
  64. Time After Time, Inoj — don’t remember it
  65. Are You Jimmy Ray?, Jimmy Ray — No, but I also don’t remember it
  66. Cruel Summer, Ace Of Base — I remember this one because I was wondering how they were still on the radio, since they sucked in 93.
  67. I Got The Hook Up!, Master P
  68. Victory, Puff Daddy and The Family
  69. Too Much, Spice Girls — could I strike the whole group from the record? Please?
  70. Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are), Pras Feat. Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Mya — I still can listen to this one
  71. How Deep Is Your Love, Dru Hill Featuring Redman
  72. Friend Of Mine, Kelly Price — don’t remember it
  73. Turn It Up [Remix] / Fire It Up, Busta Rhymes
  74. I’ll Be, Edwin McCain — don’t remember it
  75. Ray Of Light, Madonna
  76. All For You, Sister Hazel — don’t remember it
  77. Touch It, Monifah — don’t remember it
  78. Money, Power and Respect, Lox
  79. Bitter Sweet Symphony, The Verve
  80. Dangerous, Busta Rhymes
  81. Spice Up Your Life, Spice Girls — no thanks
  82. Because Of You, 98 Degrees
  83. The Mummers’ Dance, Loreena McKennitt — don’t remember it
  84. All Cried Out, Allure Featuring 112
  85. Still Not A Player, Big Punisher Featuring Joe
  86. The One I Gave My Heart To, Aaliyah
  87. Foolish Games / You Were Meant For Me, Jewel — don’t really like it, but at the time I was still stuck on the yodelling
  88. Love You Down, Inoj — don’t remember
  89. Do For Love, 2Pac
  90. Raise The Roof, Luke
  91. Heaven, Nu Flavor — don’t remember
  92. The Party Continues, Jd
  93. Sock It 2 Me, Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott Featuring Da Brat — the start of the comeback of “t[o,w]o = 2”
  94. Butta Love, Next
  95. A Rose Is Still A Rose, Aretha Franklin
  96. 4 Seasons Of Loneliness, Boyz II Men
  97. Father, LL Cool J
  98. Thinkin’ Bout It, Gerald Levert
  99. Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here, Deborah Cox
  100. Westside, TQ

So out of the 100, I have decreed that 48 of them should be stricken from the record. Of the remaining 52, I only actually remember 11 (and gave up typing). Of those 11 that I remember and don’t hate, only 2 are actually good songs.

So yeah, either I’m way to critical, or music in 1998 just sucked that bad. I was on a record-geekish, “my tastes are smarter than your tastes, so fuck you and your tongue-in-cheek ‘trailer trash’ hat” phase, but look at that list. The best stuff on it is from 2Pac’s safehouse in Seatt, erm, archives and Dru Hill. When Dru Hill is responsible for the best song of your year (and it’s not even really a contest), you should figure out how bad pop music sucks. Thank god for “Classic Rock” stations, which were on a Led Zepplin/Jimi Hendrix/Doors/Janis Joplin kick (perhaps sensing the obvious market for music that doesn’t suck ass).

Of course, this was particularly noticible to me at the time, having first gotten interested in pop music thanks to Digable Planets’ Rebirth of Slick and grunge. In spite of the retreaded “I can be Ozzy from the 70s” sound, shotgun willie and friends still kicked the shit out of anything on that list.